37

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

Baltar, on drugs, to Roslin: You’re very pretty.
Mom: He would hit on the side of a barn.

Advertisements

36

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

(Onscreen, Athena suddenly shoots and kills Six.  Cut to the Hybrid being plugged in and suddenly jumping the Cylon ship with the President and Baltar on board.  Cut to close up of effing Gaeta effing singing that effing madrigal or whatever in his effing hospital bed – AGAIN.  Cut to black, credits.)
Me: Really?  His singing is *not* having the emotional effect you think it is, show.
Mom: I like when you scold the show.


35

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

(Onscreen, Helo punches a guy in the face)
Mom, shocked: Halo!
Me: Helo.
Mom: I know. (quietly) You’re a bad boy.


34

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

Baltar, to Chief: Take my hand – for Callie.  It’s what she would have wanted.
(Chief promptly chokes him)
Mom: Oh, thank god.  (singsonging) Whoooo has a messianic complex?  Baaaalzac has a messianic complex.


33

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

Woman: I need you to tell me this all somehow makes sense. (showing him a photo) This was my husband, James. My two children, Danya and Reece. They were on Picon when the Cylons attacked.
Baltar: What do you feel when you look at this photograph?
Mom: What, now he’s the Dr. Phil of the galaxy?
(Baltar embraces her)
Mom, cringing: Oh, god, he’s a hugger.


32

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

(onscreen, Starbuck gives Helo a hard time)
Me: Come on, lady, Helo’s your friend.
Mom: Helo’s my friend.
Me: You like Helo?
Mom: Yes.
Me: Do you like like him?
Mom: I like and a half him.


31

My mother and I watch Battlestar Galactica:

Baltar: Something in the universe loves me.
Me: Not the woman to my right.