106

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

(obnoxious trader type pulls up in a convertible with “KEN WINS” vanity plate. Walt fries his battery and the car goes up in flames.)
Mom: Ken lost.


105

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

Jesse, to Walt re. Skyler: I was waiting until the ballbuster left. No offense.
Mom: None taken.


104

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

(Jesse tries to help out at his parents’ house)
Mom: Oh, he’s being good, he’s setting the table. Aw, Jesse.
(silence)
I would want to wash the silverware before I used it after he touched it, though.


103

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

(Jesse’s friend asks for some meth to take the edge off)
Mom: Take the edge off! He doesn’t have one fucking edge. He’s like…ROUND. Stay-Puft ROUND.


102

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

(Walt comes home to an angry Skyler sitting on the bed)
Mom: Ah, this little bundle of laughs.


101

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

(Walt realizes Krazy 8 has a shard of the broken plate)
Mom: See, now you are going to have to kill him – you thought you weren’t going to have to but now you know he has a broken piece of plate he’s going to kill you with and you’re so disappointed in him.


100

My mother and I watch Breaking Bad:

Mom: Walter is the most sad sack meth dealer.
Me: Out of all the meth dealers?
Mom: That I know.